Section IV - Other Responsibilities You May Encounter in Behalf of your Parent
Living Arrangements
This situation is too complicated to give good advice on. It all depends on your parent's health and independence, financial resources, familial relationships, etc. Just do the best you can, knowing that there are no really good answers, guilt is a "thing" you might have to deal with, and you are doing the best you can for their health and safety. Involving family may be important when making these decisions. So is proximity.
This is a thing, and depending on the competency of your parent, this critical task might be yours to manage. The following suggestions may help:
Financial Vulnerability
As mentioned above, the elderly are susceptible to being taken advantage of. Their telephone represents a porthole for scammers to give them a ring, and talk them into giving out financial information, or even coax them to go to the bank to withdraw funds to rescue a grandchild from a jail in a foreign country. Sound silly? Happens all the time (I have first hand experience with this).
If your parent does any computing or Facebooking, that is another avenue where they can fall victim to fraudsters.
So, how do you prevent your parent from getting scammed?
Final Words
Never in your life have you probably given much thought about your assumed guardianship over your parents. Like death, these have been tabled musings. But alas, if you are reading this then maybe there has been an intersection in your life where you are now your parent's guardian. Hopefully, you have the support of your spouse or partner, and perhaps some siblings who are willing and able to help out. Either way, keep at it. And as my Grammy said on her death bed when asked for a pearl of wisdom "do your best".
Living Arrangements
This situation is too complicated to give good advice on. It all depends on your parent's health and independence, financial resources, familial relationships, etc. Just do the best you can, knowing that there are no really good answers, guilt is a "thing" you might have to deal with, and you are doing the best you can for their health and safety. Involving family may be important when making these decisions. So is proximity.
- You will probably be responsible to keep the property up to date. It can be quite a big job to keep up with the maintenance of the yard and the physical property, especially if you have your own situation to take care of, and this additional burden can influence whether your parent can remain in their home. If resources are available, then many maintenance tasks can be hired out. If not, then it will probably be up to you. Capital items (roofs, painting, etc.) will have to be factored into your financial plan as well.
- If your parent lives in a neighborhood with a Homeowner's Association (HOA), you may be responsible to make sure that their property and landscaping are being maintained up to the standards of the Codes, Covenants, and Restrictions (CC&R's). A sample CC&R can be found here. Monthly or annual dues will have to be kept current.
This is a thing, and depending on the competency of your parent, this critical task might be yours to manage. The following suggestions may help:
- You need to become your parent's guardian at their Primary Care Provider, as you will be their liaison for their prescriptions and and other medical needs.
- Round up all your parent's pill bottles, and write up a list of medications, doses, and when they are taken. I segregated the pill bottles into two bags, morning and evening, and had pill containers that could accommodate this twice per day system.
- Order the prescriptions and fill up the weekly pill containers. I considered managing this from my house, as I could fill them and deliver them conveniently, but never got around to this. And hey, a visit to your parent is always a good thing right? Save for the 90 degree apartment.
- Mail order pharmacies may make sense, as typically you can order online, and you can get 90 day supplies. Your parent's doctor can send the Rx there after you set it up. Otherwise, a local pharmacy can be used, and often medications are easily ordered via a phone system, as long as you have the information from the bottle (Rx #, e.g.). This is the route I took, as I never got around to setting up the mail order, and heck, I needed to get mom items at Fred Meyers quite often anyway.
- Your parent may need extra help with prescriptions if they are untrustworthy to take them as prescribed on their own. Some people will visit their parent daily to do this, others will hire a professional service ($). Different living facilities and situations may have other options as well.
Financial Vulnerability
As mentioned above, the elderly are susceptible to being taken advantage of. Their telephone represents a porthole for scammers to give them a ring, and talk them into giving out financial information, or even coax them to go to the bank to withdraw funds to rescue a grandchild from a jail in a foreign country. Sound silly? Happens all the time (I have first hand experience with this).
If your parent does any computing or Facebooking, that is another avenue where they can fall victim to fraudsters.
So, how do you prevent your parent from getting scammed?
- As mentioned above, only allow them a credit card, and a modest amount of cash.
- Check their online banking and credit card activity often.
- Keep their valuables in your safe.
- Monitor their computing.
- Evaluate their charitable contributions. An unbelievable amount of solicitations will follow any giving to charities, political organizations, etc. Even posthumously.
Final Words
Never in your life have you probably given much thought about your assumed guardianship over your parents. Like death, these have been tabled musings. But alas, if you are reading this then maybe there has been an intersection in your life where you are now your parent's guardian. Hopefully, you have the support of your spouse or partner, and perhaps some siblings who are willing and able to help out. Either way, keep at it. And as my Grammy said on her death bed when asked for a pearl of wisdom "do your best".